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Mama-Wars: Moms Are Competing With Each Other

By Neha Somani|3 - 4 mins| November 24, 2022

Modern-day parenting puts back-breaking pressure on Mothers to transform into super-heroes without capes. Instead of raising a child as a village and joining hands mothers often rip each other apart both in the real and virtual worlds in the race to be top dog

Hey lady, we know being a mom is no mean feat. I am one too and I know what it takes especially when the world expects you to be a super-woman (read supermom). It is like living each day in an adventure park. The journey of being a mom is a difficult one. It is daunting, vulnerable yet extremely rewarding at the same time. Mommy-hood begins long before you even pop out the tiny bundle of flesh and bones. You begin to religiously read several parenting articles, become an active member of many mommy groups and parental portals in order to garner support from fellow mammas. But, often unfortunately become a victim of judgements from them and get ridiculed for your parenting styles. You end up beating yourself when they making you feel that you have failed at your parenting techniques or choices that you make whether it is how long you want to breast feed, potty training, eating habits as well as reaching milestones like walking, talking and learning to eat on their own. There is always a fear lurking at the back of the minds of mothers that they won’t measure up to other fellow mamas and that the proverbial grass is always greener on the other side.

Take the case of Seema, mother of a 3 year old boy. She admits that the fact that her son Ayansh did not start talking when his peers started to, gave her sleepless nights. She sought the counsel of many doctors and experts thinking that Ayaansh had a serious problem and would never be able to talk. The fact that her son wouldn’t start blabbering and utter only monosyllables gave her sleepless nights. It actually bothered her so much that she stopped going out as other moms would constantly question her and often dole out unsolicited advice.

Such is the cut-throat completion out there that Mothers are even enrolling their tots as old as 2.5 or 3 and 4 year olds for phonics classes, Vedic Mathematics and even physical activity classes. Sometimes for a lot of moms all this gets a bit overwhelming. Nonetheless they hop on to the bandwagon to fit in and appear uber cool.

As Mothers, it is natural for us to do anything and everything in our might and beyond capacity to keep our children safe, secure and happy. Yet, however we might hate to admit it, motherhood can also feel pretty empty and daunting at times, especially when you do not have the right support system or even worse when you don’t have a sense of fulfilment or satisfaction. Of course our babies are enough for us and we love them more than anything else in this world, we keep assuring ourselves from time to time but before we became mommies we were dodging many roles be it at work or home or both. Now with a child in tow, our responsibilities have increased in leaps and bounds. More often, when people or those who matter to us put us down, we feel disillusioned. What happens is that subconsciously, we begin to look for that fulfillment elsewhere.

It is sad to see women pitting against each other, throwing brickbats at one another rather than choosing to present bouquets to each other for their individual journeys and personal struggles. Of course, there are exceptions.

Unfortunately, these days, motherhood and parenting often resembles a cook-off where the best dish takes the prize, in this case the coved prize is a ‘perfectly raised kid’ and in reality, the term perfect is often subjective. So, why not ditch our glasses tainted with specs of judgment and prejudice. Why not you do what is suits you the best and let others ‘choose’ to do what is right for them.

And honestly, parenting is not a race, it is a journey; a beautiful one no matter how many bends in the roads there might be.. Your little ones will have to enter the rat race anyway when they get there but for now can we just be and let them savor the fruits of their childhood.

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About The Author:

Neha Somani

Last Updated: Thu Nov 24 2022

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