The internet is buzzing with tips on how to deal with a teen who talks back. It is important to delve into the why first. Why does your normally placid child talk back aggressively? It is a mixture of many things, and you need to treat the problem at the root.
Why do teenagers talk back?
The first issue is the lack of identity. Your little one is not so little anymore. As the child changes physically, they often face an identity crisis. They are no longer children but are not adults either. You, as a parent, can ease them into the phase. Talk to your child at a level that respects the fact that she is grown up. Leave some small decisions to her. Discuss about what you need to do to keep her comfortable. Keep communication lines open.
A teenager’s attitude often reflects the attitude of the adults in the house. Give the child a little personal space and a space to grow into her new identity as a pre-adult. The swift bodily changes and hormonal surges often make the child confused and aggressive. Deal with it patiently. It is most important to keep the communication lines open.
How do you deal with a teenager talking back?
Do not worry if your child talks back sometimes. It is a part of growing up that they will push boundaries to see how far they can do so. If your child is comfortable talking to you, you can reassure the child that she is experiencing things that are normal. The child is often confused as the beliefs of childhood do not match the perceptions of adulthood.
Teenagers need to be dealt with firmly and calmly. It is not a good idea to confront the angry child at once and let the situation into a fight. You are the adult, and you should talk calmly to your teenager once she is calmer. Explain why is talking back disrespectful. The teenager who can express herself freely will get a sense of where she is going wrong. It is your job as a parent to guide your child through this difficult phase.
Peer pressure is the strongest at this time. Your child already is a tad confused and can fall in the trap of trying to fit in and emulate other friends who are not the perfect influence. Give your teenager talking back examples that you feel are disrespectful. Once the child knows her boundaries, the chances that she will cross the line are small.
Do remember that your child copies your behaviour. The change is a long reaching one. She needs to be nurtured from early childhood. This tempestuous period is best faced when the child feels comfortable in expressing her feelings to you. The most important thing is to impress on the child that she can always reach out and communicate with you without being judged.
Teenagers are naturally rebellious. Deal with the tantrums firmly but with understanding. Draw clear boundaries to what they can do and what they cannot. The teenager is still a child at heart, and although she will never express it, she still needs a parent who will understand and not confront her. The crux of the matter is a comfort zone. There will be incidents of irrational behaviour, but deal with it calmly and diffuse the situation. Do not hesitate to mete out punishments, but do see that the punishment fits the crime.
It’s a time of rapid change, help your child adjust to the phase with love and understanding.