Dealing With Lying Teenagers Is A Tricky Task You Can’t Afford To Do Wrong. Among the many parenting nightmares that teenage brings with it is having to deal with a lying teenager. It’s tough to ascertain whether your teenager is actually lying because lying teenagers usually have supporting friends. However, it is critical to understand the fundamental factors that cause lying. The only lasting solution to teenage lying is obtained by addressing these factors.
Hold Back Your Judgement
If you want your teenager to stop lying to you, it’s important for them to know that you trust them. Supportive and friendly parents stand a better chance at getting teenagers to stop lying. Your teenager will feel more obligated to be honest with you if your trust and support matters to them. Remember that it’s just as easy for your child to feel let down by you as it is for you to feel let down by them. If it turns out that your teen wasn’t lying and you doubted them, you’ll break their trust. So when you feel like you might have a lying teenager on your hands, wait till you’re sure.
Try To Gain Some Perspective
You will be able to understand the problem much better if you can get into your teenager’s shoes. They will not appreciate you discussing their alleged lies or habitual teenage lying with their friends, of course. So, you need to find other ways to figure out why teenagers lie. Scour the internet for information on their mindsets, read about teenage problems and you’ll know them better. This way, when you speak to them about it, you’ll automatically be less aggressive and confrontational.
Compassion Over Trust
Compassion is an absolute prerequisite for trust. You would never try to build trust with someone you don’t care about. If your teenager has lied and you’ve caught them, your trust in them will be broken. It’s always tough to rebuild trust. If you don’t get past the hurt and remember that you love them, there’s no hope. The battle is lost when anger is allowed into the equation. Compassion is the best way to keep anger at bay.
Calling Out Teenage Lying
This is the toughest and most critical part of dealing with lying teenagers. Even if you have proof that they’re lying, allow them the chance to confess or explain themselves. You must find the fine line that separates necessary action from emotional reaction and stick to the former. In a way, allow this discussion to be like it would be in a court of law. Don’t let it be that devoid of emotion, but don’t get too sentimental, either. Be strict enough to enforce consequences for lying teenagers but gentle enough to see that they’re fair.
Address The Elephant In The Room
You might feel that the biggest problem here is that your son or daughter lied. Fact is, they will repeat it if you don’t address the bigger issue – the cause. Teenage lying may happen in a number of circumstances for various reasons. If you’ve followed Step 2, you may have some ideas as to why it happened in the first place. Move beyond the anger and hurt, reach out to your child, and discuss the cause. Exchange perspectives and you’ll find that rebuilding trust after teenage lying is not so tough after all.
Make Prevention A Team Effort
The best way to ensure repeated teenage lying is to put the blame and the burden of improvement on them. Instead, if you acknowledge your role in what caused the lies, you’ll likely be rid of the problem. Lead by example and show your teen son or daughter that there’s no shame in accepting your mistake. Suggest or ask how you can help prevent the need to lie again and commit to holding up your promises. This will encourage your teenager to be honest with you because you’re being honest with them.
Teenage aggression, depression, anger and almost every other teenage problem can benefit from such an approach. In most cases, it is a lack of compassion between parents and teenagers that leads to such problems. By addressing the cause, you can build a strong and lasting relationship with your teenager in spite of major issues.